It was a morning in January, I was at home sat on my sofa doing course work. I was in a terrible place as things were rough at home between me and my boyfriend, my voices were bad and my anxiety was terrible. I was working away and decided to go on social media.

As I was scrolling through I came across a post that said RIP Tom. My heart stopped. I felt this sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach, my hands went clammy and my heart began racing. I clicked on the tagged Tom. I couldn’t breathe, it was my childhood best friend. Memorials to him were all over his page. He had been stabbed.

Just writing about this my voices are getting loud, my heart is racing and I feel short of breath. I can’t at this moment long to write about this in detail because its too hard.

I guess I still haven’t processed this.

I miss you Tom and I hope you’re having a good time up there.
This experience has had a negative impact on my mental health. My voices see it as proof that the bad things do happen. It took my 4 years to be able to ago back to the city he was murdered in.

by Katie, she/her, UK